If I had held a different idea of what it meant to be pragmatic, I would be designing clothes for myself for a sizeable clientele somewhere warm, instead of having meandered skittishly and non-committedly through pursuits that I knew weren’t right.

Don’t get me wrong—I’m grateful for where I am and what I have, and most importantly grateful for an enduring sense, that hasn’t yet waned, of capability and possibility. I am still enchanted by fashion design, after all this time, and in a sense, the pragmatic thing to do would be to live it now. I want to claim the self-possession I believe the me in my sister life would have gained through having pursued the art of his dreams. I still believe I will in this life, if not through a more circuitous route.